I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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