Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
