so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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