as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I will be naked everywhere
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
