Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize