Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
