She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
