I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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