I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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