I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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