Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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