just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize