Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
