If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
