this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
