she was so not down for the gang bang
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
