My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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