I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Randomize