Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
