maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
