Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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