the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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