could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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