Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
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