Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
