does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
