i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
