When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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