Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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