it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
