At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
