she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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