My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize