so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
