The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
