so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
