please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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