Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
