and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
