I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
