I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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