you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
