Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
