Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
