At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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