My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
