do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
false alarm, still single
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