I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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