I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
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