dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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