o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
