Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
