we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
