Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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