Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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