you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
did you just send me my own nude
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
