Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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