you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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